I need help removing her.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
