i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
