Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
