Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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