I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's just like the Real World with babies
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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