I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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