You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
