we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
