my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
