Umm I'm too high to move.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
