i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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