she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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