Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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