The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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