can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
