Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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