On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
