smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
