Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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