shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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