Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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