You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize
