we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
