I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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