That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
birth control should be required to get into college
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
