he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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