I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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