My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
