great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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