Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
