I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
