Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
