Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm really busy with my period
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