Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
