I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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