At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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