Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
