yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
