i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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