I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
