i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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