Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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