I wish I could punch you in the face.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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