your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
