i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
