marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
