Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
