i think i have herpe
just one?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
