Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
