Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
