Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
